Catching up

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hello hello!
it's been a long time. i have a lot of catching up to do.
Let me first begin with my vacation to Florida. It was great! Although all we did was repeat everything. We go to the beach, we go to the pool. Beach, pool, beach, pool. Blah blah blah. The only time we got out of the cycle was when we went to the Marine Science Center. wow. that was fun… we looked at injured birds and sea turtles. Fun. Mom got all her pictures. You get bored after a couple days. We stayed there over a month. Don’t get me wrong I love the beach but my hair gets fried. And my mom’s grace shampoo does nothing. By the time I came back home my hair was like straw.
The best day was the last day where I woke up way too early and went to the beach to watch a sunrise. There was this park ranger guy who told us that later around 8:00 a lady would come around and dig up a turtle next. So we stayed until we found her and walked to a nest and she started digging. It was empty there were a few still fertile eggs but the rest already hatched. It was a fun, truly, fun. The lady gave me the job to take pictures with her $200 Olympic camera.
Speaking of cameras does anyone have any good digital cameras? Mine sadly died, it didn’t even last a year. Y_Y
Went to the high school orientation in mid august. Just when the teachers were about to dismiss us, my sister goes “I have to use the bathroom.” I wanted to kill her. I got voted to take her there. Then spent forever in there. My sister is a germ freak! So she puts TP on the brim of the toilet and it starts falling off. Then she starts complaining to me about it. I yell at her just to squat above the seat and piss already. She finally goes. And we run back just before it is time to leave.
I have lunch at 10:30. what the heck?! Well maybe it won’t be that bad. I will be waking up at six. 10:30 isn’t a lunch; it’s a brunch.
Clubs I will be joining are: Chinese cultural dance club, Color Guard, stage crew and I will give student Government a try. I’m trying to break out of the shyness and become a fun social butterfly.
I have practically no new clothes. I grew out of most of the better outfits. So all I have are tee-shirts. Tee-freakin’-shirts!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have the best pants, shoes, long-sleeved shirts, sweaters and jackets. But no short sleeved shirts. The ones that I do like are not appropriate for school.

What ever.

Untitled

AHHHHH! Vacation in less than 48 hours! I will be going south to Florida for one entire month! When I come back I will be so tanned I will look I lived in the Philippines? They have dark skin right? I’m not sure I think it ranges from medium to dark. Some people burn in the sun while I tan. I can be outside for an hour and come back with some type of tan. In 7th grade I was tan as tan can be. I t lasted till like February.
Can you believe in September I will be a high school girl? Yay! I can not wait. I want a boyfriend so badly it hurts. I have my eye on some guys…. Oh big news I don’t like Catman anymore. I think I liked him because I liked the thought of liking someone. Am i confusing you? Well I’m also confusing myself too.

Well that’s it for a long time!
P.S. Strawberry if you are reading this could you tell me what your new URL is? Thanks!


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Dance

Eeeeeeek! I have a date! I have a date to the dance, the eighth grade farewell dance! I am beyond happy, so freakin happy! Okay so he was like my best friend from 5th grade. He was so nice to me while others were so mean. During tag while others were pairing up I had no one, I truly wanted to cry. So he came up to me and asked if I wanted to be his partner. I was a little reluctant but said yes. That is where our friendship blossomed. So I spent most of my time with him. During the end of the year someone created a horrible rumor about me and him. They said I made out with him in the boy’s bathroom. I was so traumatized from that I never spoke to him for a year. Then around the end of seventh grade I finally got the nerve to talk to him. I asked him how things were and all he gave me were one word answers. Every time I would see him in the hallway I would get sad, he never met my eyes, I’m still surprised he said yes. I thought that in middle school he would join band and musical stuff like that; he’s just talented on the piano. In fifth grade he invited me to his piano recital, It was amazing.


Although he’s a super hunk and all, Rachel will always be the coolest cat in town. If only she had asked me instead of him. (said by Rachel, not me) (I really don’t even know why I kept this here)


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Memorial Day

Friday! Finally Friday! Today went sooooo loooooooong!
Ick! This weekend my family and I will be going to the mountains of Pennsylvania to go mow the lawn. Fun, Fun, fun! But, on Monday we will be celebrating Faith’s gotcha-day. (The day she was adopted) I got her am autographed copy of a book by Wendy Mass. I think she will enjoy the book.
Today Pepsi was crying. I don’t know why but she was. She never gets upset, but she was crying and walking around. The weird thing was she was having like mood swings. She was happy, then sort of sissy, the crying. I really wanted to know why. She said that Catman scratched her thigh. (oh how I wished he did that to me) but her scratch didn’t look that bad.
OMG. My substitute bus driver was so scary looking, he looked like a troll.


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Title

why does everyone have to get all up into my bussiness? my dad, he, i don't know, does he think i'm doing something illegal? he is on my back 24-7. what the heck is wrong with him? he is almost as annoying as Bug. why does my dad think that if he changes the subject everything will be batter?
so yesterday. my dad was all like "Uhhhh... who do i give this to? why don't you ask your mom?" well father the thing is that YOU DON'T LISTEN! what the freak is wrong with you? you think that we all live in this happy-go-lucky world? you have to have some problems....
alos yesterday he broke my mom's favorite wineglass. this glass was a gift to her from some family in Bermuda. My dad just broke it. it was her wine glass for over 30 yeears, and he broke it.
i hate how he always tries to change the subject.it's like "no, i'm talking about this and you think that if you talk about school it will sway me away from the time you kicked all my stuff on the floor? you can't change my mind. what do you think you are doing?!?!

breathe..... breathe....
breathing is good. today in language arts we are studying shakesperian sonnets. i wrote one! i'm so proud! here it is....

the rain's droplets fall hard on spring flowers
tears spring down on us from the broken heart
such evil roars echoe as rain showers
we cling together yet we fall apart

flowers are evil and smile at the tears
catching the water and growing from it
thier beauty glistens for such it appears
but this charm is so false no beauty one bit

wait, a flower's life is superficial
and dies when picked or its season over
for the storm does not last forever, shall
i say tis love, which shant last forever

love was a blossom,so pure and must last
but it whithered and fell, my only past


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More Poems

Hope
Shines brightest
In the dark
For hope is the
Light in a
Dark tunnel
Glimmering
As everything
Fades

When faced with
Fear
One might
Cower
But we must
Unmask this demon
And reveal the
Truth

For they are
Weaker
For they only hide
Behind their
Makeup
But that
Foes not last



Thought the sun has set
Its rays still stay
Resounding the light
Thus when night falls
Tis not truly dark
The stars still twinkle
Shining bright
Reflecting the once
Morning light


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Catching Up

Okay time to catch up with the latest things. Guess who’s going out? Pepsi! (She has been going out since Friday 3 weeks ago) I found out last week. Why did I not blog this? Because I can’t blog if my parents are here. THEY WILL KILL ME. I’m so happy for Pepsi! I’m glad she found love even if it’s Charles. I really have no close ties with him but that’s okay. He’s nice. One time while we were changing classes and I was late he carried my books for me. How nice!
Well we know who Pepsi is going with to the farewell dance. Catman already has a date too. Y_Y I knew I couldn’t go to the dance with him. I probably won’t get a date at all. Do you think I’m likeable?


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RAIN

Rain
The tears of a disappointed soul
The clouds try to hide
The shattered life
The cries fall on us
Pelting us with cold drops
A loss may be another gain
For flowers bloom from this pain
They grow from a spud to a full
Plant with life and beauty
But beauty is only skin deep and
Can be washed away

The petals fall from the stem
And wash
Away
To the shore
Love is like this
First strong and young
Then old and dying
Nothing pretty lasts
Forever

Or maybe I am wrong
When the flowers fall
They unleash their gift
The beauty spreads
Sacrifice
To give up a life to
Create more
Perspective is the key
There is no evil
But perspective

The only evil is
The unknown
The dark
Where you can’t see
Without light
The hope shines
Brightest in a
Dark room


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What ever

My mom’s side of the family sucks! My aunt Nancy is a bitch. Guess what she did for the last three days.
Wed: she leaves two messages to my mother and father
For mom: you wanted to be an only child you got it. You stole my
parents from me. I would call you a SOB (but words) but that would
make my lonely mother look bad. The three of us (Nancy, Bonnie, and
Terry) will sue you for all you have because of elderly abuse.

The problem with this is that for the last 8 years my mom has taken full responsibility for my grandparents. She has abandoned this family in order to tend to my grandparents needs. I’m not mad at my mom about this. She did what she had to do. We as children are supposed to help our parents when they need us. They (my aunts) left.
For Dad: you are not welcomed to my mother’s home.
My dad was so hurt by this. He said “I thought your parents liked me. I thought they loved me and I was accepted. But I was wrong.” My dad never speaks that deeply. NEVER.

Today my mom got a letter from Nancy wishing her to die, my dad to go to hell and for me and my sister to be hors. Let me tell you this. Nancy ran away from her family at 18. Her daughter got pregnant at sixteen. The guy who got her pregnant was put on a restraining order, and guess what. Now they are married and just had their second child. I am so mad. How dare she take out anger on my dad. He never did anything wrong. He stood beside my mom through thick and thin. He has spackled and painted my grandparents house when he should be fixing up our home! He would do anything for my mom and takes what her sisters’ dish him. He has never EVER done anything bad to my aunts even when they wee asking for it.

Okay I need to cool down or my brain will pop. So… today during lunch I signed up for bus seats and chaperone groups. I’m stuck with S.R. I don’t what Strawberry nicknamed her but I say her name with be bug. A stupid thing that buzzes around you even if you keep swatting it away. I’m stuck with bug. BUG! I HATE IT!!! I accidentally got signed up to be in Ani’s group and A.Z’s group. (girl). I think I will go with Ani. Not that I don’t like Pepsi (A.Z.) but she will be on every ride and I can’t take rides.

Pasta-and-bagels!


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Self-Pity

Here I am. Stuck the school media section because I didn’t want to attend the Darfur assembly. Which is fine with me because I’m making a card cover and blogging at the same time! The card is a good-bye card to my student teacher who is leaving tomorrow. I’m really paranoid because I’m afraid my teacher will come and holler at me if she sees what I’m doing. IF. If is a very powerful word, it can change everything.
In humanities Strawberry was having a personal conversation with um.. What should I call her? How about Ivy? Strawberry was having a personal conversation with Ivy. I think it was about her not wanting everyone to be in her business which I totally agree on. People, this is her life NOT yours, so just stay out. Let her have her own opinions, if its not physically hurting someone or making them dramatically depressed then there should be no reason for you to but in. back to Strawberry. Well they were talking and I think everyone was curious and listen to their conversation. Guys listen. It’s not a private if you talking at the front of the class. The only thing that I heard was when Strawberry said “well you’re not fat.” That is probably one of my pet peeves with Ivy she complains way too much about her body. “I’m fat, I’m ugly, I hate my hair.” She is addicted to the outside beauty and lacking on inside beauty. Ivy, you are not fat. You have bigger bones. Big bones= more weight. No matter how much you starve yourself you will never have a supermodel’s body so get over it. You are not ugly either, if anyone is ugly it’s Fox. Yes it’s mean, but it’s honest. Finally, your hair is frizzy. But it’s naturally frizzy. If you keep straitening your hair you will damage the roots and your hair will start falling out. Do you want that? Make-up does not make the person either. I don’t wear makeup and look how far I am. I have friends that love me, not pity me. So stop wallowing in self-pity and move on. Sulking gates you nowhere. Honestly, I think you do this for attention, and you’re getting it. Are you happy now?


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Art

Art. Art is everywhere, whether its on a museum wall or the margins of your notebook. It’s there. Art isn’t always a picture on a piece of paper; it’s a clay pot, a painted wall, a poem, a song, and even graffiti. I love the arts. There is no way you can fail in the language of art. (Unless you write “dhfhegbvhbhjakgrydbfdshagaegtuybfndbvahvhgeteyrhgfhgdsahfgkhgfaywerkj’oqwur90237u5rengdjkh yr 8 9[u 097R9032753UHGDSJGIUET6908Q3” as a poem. Then I don’t think it is art).
Here is one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost

“Fire and Ice”
Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice

Don’t you love it? Here is a poem I made up

I breathe
Yet I die today
No longer
I live
I perish
Air no longer filling me
Yet I feel a patter
A beating of happiness
And sorrow
For now I will
Leave and
Never come back
Tears swell in my eyes as I
Breathe my last breath and
Wave good-bye to
All I have once loved

Do you like it? I know it probably pretty amateur but I like it… here is another poem I like by Jay Asher (who wrote Th1rteen R3asons Why)

If my love were an ocean
There would be no more land
If my love were a desert
You would see only sand
If my love were a star-
Late at night, only bright
And if my love could grow wings
I’d be soaring in flight

Aloha (which is ‘hello’ and ‘good-bye’)


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Quick!

Can’t talk. Must hurry. Hate teachers. Bye!

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Family

My family is so depressing. Yes, I know my grandpa died. Yes, I know this a very difficult time for my grandma. Yes, I know I mom hates her sisters and their descendents. My mom is a cow. Okay. She is stubborn and annoying and skeptical. So when my family goes up to visit we come across my 36 year old cousin Jennet. She had lived with my aunt until she was 28. She is a hairdresser. Now she has her own apartment. She is not married but yet got herself pregnant. My mom deplores that. Jennet is all happy, yet whinny. She all like “I hate morning sickness. I’m getting fat(only 3 months). My boyfriend I, we are the first of our couple friends who did this. His brother, who is 40 is going out a 26 year old girl and they’re planning to do the same thing!” she makes it sound all peachy. But it’s not. Getting pregnant before you get married is WRONG. Think about the child! The lady has some screws loose, that’s all I can say.
Tears. My dad left to Florida to go check on our house. Tomorrow they will break land. Yippy! I will be moving during winter break of next year. I’m so excited. Don’t get me wrong I love my friends, but this, this is like an adventure. Everything is new and open. Moving to another state, another high school will be cool. Nobody knows me; they can’t judge me by what their friend said I was like in middle school. I start out clean. Todaloo! Ha, to-da-loo.


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Winnie The Pooh

It’s all over! Yay! No more state testing! Woo-hoo! I’m so tired. Tomorrow I’m going dress shopping and that will be fun, fun, fun…
I learned who Cat-man reminds me of! Christopher Robin! He does, he truly does. That brown hair, brown eyes, and lean body. Although I’m sure if Cat-man doesn’t escape into a world of The Hundred Acre. That would be cool if it was real, don’t you think? Or even! He could be Peter Pan, and I could be Wendy! Then, we can fly away together off to Never Land. Where we will never age and live happily ever after. But sadly that will never come true. I will be moving during winter break and will never see him again. Unless I come back and runaway with him, how romantic is that? Think about it. A long lost relationship finally comes together. How sweet. I bid you farewell.


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Death

Hey it's me, I'm back. I'm alone. I'm silent to the bone. My grandpa died on Tuesday at 7:07. Probably the most horrible time because of the state testing. Everything started going down hill so fast. First he falls at CVS; the ambulance insists that he should be taken to the hospital he declines because he will NOT leave my grandma. Then he gets back home (drives) and my mom gets phoned in on what happened. She couldn't leave so she plans to visit the next day. That night they call 911 because he had trouble breathing (probably because he has a defibrillator in him. if you don't know what it is, look it up!) they come and check him out and say that he okey-dokey. WRONG. The next day my mom takes him to the doctor and the doctor says he has four broken ribs. I blame it on the EMTs, they should have known. So his ribs have been broken for over four weeks and should be healing. But Tuesday afternoon my mom drove to the hospital because my grandpa had a major heart attack. When I called her later when I got home she said that he was very sleepy and needs his rest. She said that we can't be sad and we have the memories of him to carry with us. I knew he was dying, mom knew he was dying, we all knew but just couldn't admit to it when my sister called later that night my mom announced he was dead, and that he got his wish. My sister cried for an hour while I didn't shed a tear until I heard my mom saying on the other side of the phone. I don't cry, the only time I ever do is when my mom is making my feel terribly guilty over anything I have done. That night I cried in my heart. The on e thing that hit me in the gut was when my said "we didn't even get to see him one last time." That hurt.
Here’s a poem I conjured up.
“Tears from a star
My tears they fall with passion
Like tears conceived from stars
Full of brightness and energy
Seen only from afar
Tonight these tears are
Full of pain but also I can feel
Relief from my heart
Because my stigma is revealed
Unfaithful and unforgiving
I cannot bear to let this be
So I must be pure
And only him for eternity”

The only thing wrong with computers is that you can’t see the tears I cry. Death is something you can’t escape but you can embrace. Yesterday was the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift and that’s why it’s called the present.


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